The Calabrese Secret Decoder Ring.

As the holidays are slowly approaching, I find myself spending more time with my parents or around their house. With a busy schedule, its not always easy to meet their demands of attendance at family functions or just regular everyday.

So, I really think that my family is super funny, and if you saw the day to day, you would probably laugh too. This past weekend, I helped my father put up the Christmas lights on the house. Now, mind you this is a huge endeavor every year. My brothers and sister have long resigned their duty to putting up and helping my parents put up the lights because they realize its a task that requires extreme patience and.. ok..forget that..I'm doing it because I'm the youngest and I guess I'm paying my dues last. There you have it.

Its the order of age that dictates who gets stuck with helping my parents on certain things. Anyway, so we begin putting up the lights, and no matter what year, my father always puts up a fight with me on how to put up the lights. I tell him, "Papa-- don't put the big lights with the little lights..it has to match.." Do you think he listens,? No. Here I am disconnecting lights right after he decides to mess up the symmetry of the lights. He has no regard for design, his ideology is, "what's-a -da-diff-a-rence?" I try to tell him, yes there is a difference.

So, the comedy to this is, I'm stringing lights and he's messing up the lights on the next set of bushes. The neighbors heard us yelling back and forth in Italian and English. Then, here comes my mother sticking her head out of the door, to tell me not to put lights on a certain tree because she doesn't like it. Well, Mom,...guess what?...that tree has lights on it already. "Oh...no...va bene.no ci fa niente..) Really, as she's standing there with the infamous puss on her face, so here I go, Margaret disconnects the friggen tree so she's happy. The irony is at the end of the stringing, I test all the lights and my mother and father are both standing there. So, the tree that my mother specifically says not to string, is not lit. She says, " Ma perche, non du-ma.?"( this is phonetic dialect--not a real word.) Um.."ma, did you not tell me to disconnect the lights off this tree?" She says, "Yeah, ma se como tu i min-tiste gia, i potive ra-sarre." (again this is all phonetically spelled, so you can understand.)

I just looked at her and said, "you must be joking! You guys are incredible..!!! I need a secret decoder ring just to figure out what you guys really mean or want!!!!!" There you have it, the eloquent masterpiece of a moment in putting up the Christmas lights at my parent's house. It just doesn't get any better than that. Oh and don't think my brothers and sister weren't laughing when I told them. I'll have to mastermind a task for them to do next, so they can get the full effect of Fran and Joe. Tweet

Wine In A Heinz Ketchup Bottle.

Remember when Heinz ketchup used to be in glass bottles? I think that was ages ago, when I was growing up in the late 70's early 80s. So, what is the significance of a Heinz ketchup bottle? I actually met up with a friend of mine who I hadn't seen since high school. Growing up we were pretty tight, she was at my house a lot and witnessed a lot of our crazy Italian-isms. For an example, I thought that when it was time to make wine in our house, it was completely normal that we would use a glass bottle that happened to be a ketchup bottle. Don't get me wrong, we used normal bottles too, but the ketchup bottle got caught up in their too. Now, the bottles were stubby and odd looking back then, so we never really captured any kind of sophisticated wine making tactics or appearances. It was more like use what you have.

Well, in meeting with her and talking about the old days from our childhood, she happened to remember something so random, but apparently it left an impression on her. She says, "you know, only at your house did I experience the highest proof wine, of which your father brought up from the basement in a Heinz Ketchup bottle, with the Heinz label still on it. " Now, my friend is what we call, "total mer-i-gan," but she really adapted well to all the strange things that went on in my house growing up. So, I said to her, "well, I'm glad I could provide that experience for you." She never judged --but in the end, we laughed and now we cherish the memories about growing up Italian American. Tweet

Italian Americans, What Really Matters To Us When It Comes To Connecting With Our Heritage?

Italian Americans constitute almost 6% of the population here in the United States. That's a good chunk of us here in America that were brought here by our mothers, fathers, aunts, uncles, grandfathers and grandmothers. We might be close in the generation gaps or really removed by fourth and fifth generations. Either way, no matter how far you fall from the generation tree we are all seeking to hold onto our culture and identity.

Sometimes, if you meet someone out and start talking about your background, you might come to a familiar conclusion that you're both Italian or know of each others similar upbringings. These familiar cultural characteristics that we identify and try to grasp are what hold the Italian Americans together. Sometimes the guys who act the parts of the stereotypes we aren't so fond of, just don't know any better, and to them this is their part of the culture they think is the culture. I guess, it might be true..everyone wants to be Italian.

We hold onto what we can, we are American --rightfully and proudly so, but one day once the generations fall further and further apart, we will be grasping onto the time capsule of traits, familiarities, traditions and culture. What really matters to me is keeping my heritage real and tangible. I see how easy it is to dilute our heritage when we are submerged in an everyday melting pot. It has to be our job to keep these amazing traditions and feelings of identity preserved, active and sacred.

Does the feeling of holding onto your culture bring you closer to your roots? Do you have a sense of pride and love for where you came from? Could the answers to these questions help us in figuring out what really matters to us when connecting to our Italian heritage? Tweet

What the Economic Crisis Means For A True Immigrant.

Every time you turn on the television these days or even on the Internet we are overwhelmed with the bad news of the economy and the negative job perspectives out in the working world. I will say I'm hopeful about the future only because now we've elected a new President who will hopefully bring us back to life. This topic was quite heated today when I spoke with my father, who is under extreme disbelief about the current economic situation here in the United States.

He is an immigrant turned US citizen, who came to this country for the very reason he left Italy in the late 1950s. No jobs, no economy, no money. Now, here some 50 years later and he is even worried about his retirement. Now, he's been retired for many years, but he's also faced with increasing costs in his medical insurance, taxes, and bills.

In discussing our worries about the future, one thing he made clear, even though he knows this is a bad time in the US, he has faith. The same faith that brought him to success here in the USA, and the same faith that motivated him to travel two weeks on a ship to an unknown land that would promise him faith in a better life and future. I know things are tough for a lot of people financially, but I guess the moral of this story is to have faith. My father is almost 80 years old, so if he can have faith, then I guess we have no excuse as the younger generation. I think he gave me some inspiration tonight. Thanks Papa. Tweet

Can Italian American Girls Cook?

You bet your ass we can, or at least some of us can..:) In this every changing world we live in, the roles of women and men have changed dramatically. We no longer expect the women to be slaving over the stove while holding Jr. and taking care of the home. (I know a lot of men would love this scenario--this isn't meant in a negative way.) But the reality of it is, that in today's demanding world and daily life, women are out in the work force kicking some serious ass.

I think the role expectation is completely thrown out the window because let's just face the truth, we all have to work!

Unless you and your hubby or significant other are clearing a nice paycheck, it becomes hard for the middle-class person to stay home and take care of the family or house. We've resorted to nannies, daycare, prepared meals, takeout and all sorts of other un-Godly remedies. But, its not our fault, no one is exempt, our lifestyle is demanding, we are stressed out, we have no time for hobbies or personal development. (which is a whole other topic)

So, getting back to "CAN ITALIAN AMERICAN GIRLS COOK,?" I will say, I can cook, but to speak for the rest of the millions of Italian American women, who are faced with the daily reality of no time, is not practical. Also, are women of Italian descent expected to be good cooks? Is it in the DNA? Maybe, and I hope it is.

Of course, I thought about this today, because here we are again and its Sunday. So, Sunday means dinner with the family. My mother cooked this amazing pasta with fresh sauce and then if you wanted to try another topping, she made fresh, pesto. (to die for!!, she made it from the basil in my father's garden.)

My mother can cook in a heartbeat, with the minimalist of ingredients and for the reason that she is, the food is always just so amazing. Fresh, tasty, authentic...so good. It made me think, I'm blessed that I have family who cook incredibly well, and for me its not always easy to get a traditional or even good dinner together because I too, work long hours.

So, now you ask what is our remedy..? What can we do as Italian American women to improve our cooking skills?

Look, I'm not advocating you go out and cook if thats not your thing, but I see it more of a personal development, growing your traditional skills, tapping into your root thing. ( yeah, thats it.) I think we can learn a lot from each other as women. In my sparetime though, yes of course, I hang out with the master of cooking, my mother. But when I'm not learning from her, I learn from others who are in the mainstream. I see nothing wrong with mainstream Italian chefs, as long as they are truly authentic. So, in sharing my thoughts on this dilemma, here are a few Italian American chefs that I love and think do a great job with cooking authentic, traditional Italian food. In an effort not to lose our traditional Italian ways and natural ability to cook, spend some time creating your own traditional meals. Happy Cooking!

http://www.lidiasitaly.com/

www.foodnetwork.com/everyday-italian/index.html

http://www.mariobatali.com/

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Being First Generation Italian-American and Celebrating Halloween.

Happy Halloween. Today is a fun packed day for American kids all over the United States. Trick or treating, candy, costumes, parties, parades...its just fun. I think Halloween has become one of my favorite American holidays, because it gives you an excuse to dress up and just be silly. I remember from a young age trying to explain to my father that kids dress up for school and we have parties in school because of this holiday. He just looking at me and saying, 'OK,' because he didn't know it was important. They were thinking, how could going to school dressed like a punk rocker be good?

Halloween was just something my parents were never really into, especially the part about random kids coming to your door and expecting candy. My parents just thought and still think it's strange. But now that they've been here a lifetime, they've come to accept it and are now into the Halloween antics because of their own grandchildren.

In Italy, Halloween is slowly becoming popular. They really don't celebrate it because its become more of a popularized day here in the states. The closest holiday to Halloween for the Italians is 'carnivale,' which I think is a bit more elaborate. So, the meshing of holidays as a first generation Italian kid was never easy and trying to explain to my parents why wearing a punk rocker costume to school was important. The correlation and trying to relate the cultural differences was always a challenge. Another important story to the building blocks of growing up Italian-American.

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Growing Up Italian-American, Siblings.

In this picture to the left is my brother, Santo and me on the right. Now, I found this picture today and just couldn't believe how funny we were in action all those years ago. I can remember always having the best of times and just hilarious moments because we were after all growing up Italian-American. For some reason, I will say Italians have such strong bonds between siblings that no one can break. We're pretty tight even till this day. The reason why we had so many hilarious moments was because growing up my father was always working and mom was pretty much the disciplinarian, so if anything went down..it was my mom who enforced "ti faccio --Badingbadinga." Now, this word, was like the word, that let you know you were going to catch a slap, pinch, or worse. Yes, worse.

So, today we were talking about the time, when my brother and I were at church with my mother. My mother is church lady, and when its time to pray, you better pray. Of course, this day...Santo and I were in our usual giddy moods. Hitting each other behind my mom as we stood at the pews. Well, we were laughing so hard ( I think because the church was so quiet..so it was just uncontrollable) that my mother grabs both of our wrists from each side and squeezed them so hard to pinching that we were dying of the pain. So, the pain was intense..then of course, which led to us laughing harder. Needless to say...my mother didn't tolerate it. She calmly escorted us out of the church after communion and got us in the car. She turned around in the car and slapped the both us. Well, after that day...we never misbehaved again in church., but till this day my brother and I literally fall of the chair laughing when we talk about this story. Tweet